The Phone

Who would have thought that one could get so frustrated over a phone – or should I say the lack of one.  Since my dad has arrived in the nursing home, he was been without a phone.  My mom has not wanted to invest in getting the line set up for his room.  She has gotten insurance on the cell phone so that if it was lost or stolen, it would be replaced – but she would not leave it there.  This made it difficult to talk with dad.  He did not say much when she was there.

Both my husband and I were somewhat frustrated and could not understand why mom was isolating dad.  We were trying to figure out how to get a phone into his room – when God did something amazing.

My aunt called me the other night and started the conversation with,  “Hello, your dad has a phone in his room and the number is. . . .”  I was in shock.  I had to have her repeat it a couple of times before the reality of what she said really hit.  We talked for several minutes and then I tried calling my dad.  The line was busy.  I tried again – the line was busy.  I finally got through on the third try.  He was a different man.  He already had several calls and was pretty upbeat.  When I told him that his sisters were paying the bill, he seemed to be moved.

What a difference it seems to be making.  Now I can call when it is convenient for the family – the kids will be able to talk with him.

Thank you Lord for this blessing.

The Emotional Roller Coaster

I am a runner and know what it takes to prepare, train and run a marathon, both physically and mentally.  But nothing could prepare me emotionally for the roller coaster ride that was coming after my dad broke his hip shortly before Thanksgiving. 

I have been amazed at the flood of emotions that I have felt over the past 6 weeks.  Nor was I prepared for the when these emotions.  They seemed to hit when I least expected them.  For instance during church service singing “Joy to the World, the LORD has come.”  These are some of the greatest words to sign and to hear.  But as the congregation was singing, tears were rolling down my face as I was thinking of my dad and wondering if he really understood what those words really mean. 

That has been my life since my dad fell - wavering between making hard decisions and weeping because I don’t know for sure where he stands spiritually. 

My dad is currently in a nursing home, working on getting stronger so that he can go home.  His balance is not good.  He continues to fall backwards as a result.  It makes me wonder if he will be able to regain his balance and go home.  This is probably the most heart wrenching for me – I have never wanted to see either of my parents in a care facility.  However the Lord made it very clear to me that there was not any better option at this point. 

Now I pray that God will open the eyes of my dad’s heart to see clearly the truth and beauty of the work that Christ did for him on the cross and that he will realize that God has given him mercy so that can still see that truth before he steps over from this life to the next.

Never Loose Heart in Doing Good

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”  – Galatians 6:9. 

Before I arrived in Nebraska, they had an ice storm.  The way it was described was rain first and then pebbles of water that bounced when they hit the ground, but eventually flattened out.  Snow covered it all, leaving a sheet of glass on the ground. 

After arriving Sunday night around 7 PM, I got up Monday morning to finish shoveling the driveway.  My brother had gotten about half the driveway done on Sunday afternoon, giving me a clear place to park the car.  As I was shoveling the ice off and throwing it to the side of the driveway, it sounded like glass breaking.  I don’t remember every shoveling “glass” before.  It was an eerie sound.

My aunt’s driveway is twice the size of my parent’s.  She is 94 years old and just started walking with a cane this past year!  She has been a widow for at least 6 years.  I kept telling her as I would call updates on my dad that I would find some time to work on her driveway.  Tuesday late afternoon I went over.  Mom was not happy with me.  I received a good bit of resistance from my mom, but I went anyway.

My aunt’s drive was was sheer ice and even with my boots it was hard to keep my balance.  As I was working,  my aunt was at the door watching me and from time to time she would poke her head out and ask if I was doing OK.  Finally after 30 minutes she poked her head out and said, “That’s enough Corliss.  There is enough room for my friends to park without being on the ice.”  I had cleared enough space on the driveway for a car to park near her back door – she could now get out of her house without stepping on ice!  She was so happy.  Each time I called her after that she continued to say how much it had helped her to have just a a small spot cleared out. 

After I had cleaned off her shovel and returned it to her, she asked me how much she owed me for cleaning off the drive way.  Nothing, absolutely nothing – it was a joy to be able to do just a little bit for her.  It really was just a drop in the bucket compared to what was left.  I would have gladly worked until dark to get more of it done – if she would have let me. 

Doing good is easy when one is so thankful.  It is when one doesn’t receive any thanks or appreciation that it gets hard to continue.  But God doesn’t give the option of quitting just because we are not getting what we think we should.

And so I continue to do good to my mother – even though it is one of the hardest things to continue doing and pray that God, who promises that all done in His name will bring forth fruit.

A Bend in the Road

Sometimes when I write, the words just seem to fly onto the screen and others times each word is agonizing to write.  This is more like the second.  Our family has come to a bend in the road – one that was not totally unexpected, but difficult none the less.

Dad has been in rehab for his broken hip for about 3 weeks now.  He is starting to level out in the amount of progress he is making which means that Medicare will no longer pay for his stay there.  Dad has not always been cooperative either.  He has not seen the need for Occupational therapy and therefore would not work with devices made to help him with day to day skills like dressing.  Because of this and some other factors, he cannot be discharged to home.  He will need to go to another facility until he gains some proficiency in these areas.  He was not happy.

We are now trying to determine which of the facilities he should go to.  This means that we need to tour them, ask questions about therapy, level of care, costs, etc.  I am planning on driving down to Nebraska sometime this weekend to help with the process.  Barring any changes, Dad should be leaving Madonna on Wednesday – Christmas Eve.

Phone Calls to my Dad

I have always enjoyed discussions with my dad.  Those especially close to my heart are those conversations when it is just the two of us.  During these calls, he opens up more and shares more of what he is thinking.  So having my dad in the rehab facility gives me opportunities to have those deeper conversations again!  One of those blessings that only God can orchestrate. 

This past weekend I had an interesting discussion.  He began with a simple question, “I just wonder why I had to fall?”  There are probably lots of answers to this question, but none that my dad really wanted to hear, more like just talking out loud.  After a few other comments he said, “I have more faith in God than I have had in the past.  I am hoping that He will give me what I am asking.  However I know He can’t always do that.” 

Wow – my jaw dropped.  He has not acknowledged God in positive terms like that in many years.  In those brief comments he acknowledged that God is sovereign and can do what He wants.  This brought much joy to my heart and seems to be evidence that God is moving my dad’s heart towards him – which is what I have been praying for.  The movement has been slow but this seems to be a huge leap. 

It is moments like this that make me long for more conversations, longer and deeper – but dad tires easily and generally doesn’t stay on the line for long.  So I continue to call and tonight he said that he really appreciates those calls.  I rarely ask about therapy – not that I am not interested, but everyone else asks that question and he gets tired of that.  So I ask other questions and he seems to appreciate the change!

Thanksgiving at Saint E’s

Thursday morning – Thanksgiving morning.  Most people find themselves getting up and cooking a feast for their families.  My mother and I found ourselves trying to get up and going without waking the kids and leaving for the hospital to check on dad.  Wednesday was not a good day for him.

On Wednesday things started out good.  They had gotten dad up and had him doing some standing and a bit of walking to the commode and back.  They worked him “hard” according to the nurse.  By the time we got there  about mid morning, dad was sleeping and didn’t wake up when we walked into the room.  I tried to wake him up several times, but could only get his eyes to flutter.  Mom tried.  Same thing.  We talked with the nurse and she didn’t seem to be too concerned – he should be tired from the work he had done earlier.  When I pushed and said that he wouldn’t do any more than flutter his eyes, she went over to try.  As she was doing this, my brother walked into the room.  He had found out the night before that the Doctor had changed his blood pressure medication and then all the pieces fell into place.  My dad always reacts badly to certain blood pressure medications and the one that the doctor put him on was one of them.  He was pretty comatose from the meds.

It took quite a bit of discussion between the nurse, my brother and I to convince the nurse that there was a huge problem and that we did not want any more of the medication given.  While we know that the nurse cannot make any changes with out talking to the doctor, we wanted her to know that it was pretty serious.  So we left the hospital about few hours later with a huge note on the chart and Randy’s phone number as a point of contact.

Mom was still worried about dad as we worked to get dinner ready for the kids – the big family dinner would be on Saturday.  As mom sat at the table, she began to think that she should go back to Lincoln.  Mom does not like to drive in the city, let alone trying to drive in the city after dark!  So I encouraged her to call the nurse to see what she could find out.  She called and the nurse’s aid said that he was doing better – but mom still wasn’t pleased.  She began to ask some of the hard questions and the nurse’s aide couldn’t answer her questions and said she would have the nurse call back. 

Wednesday was a beautiful day and while the ham was cooking, I had planned to go running.  However now with the phone call from the nurse looming and mom wanting me to be there to listen in and make sure she got the information correctly – I ended up running on the tread mill in the basement.  When the nurse did call back, she did not have much information as she had not been able to talk to the doctor.  However shortly after the nurse called, Randy called and had talked with the doctor on call and the blood pressure medication was stopped to see if that would effect a change. With that information, mom decided to stay home for the night and go in early on Thursday to check on him.

So early Thursday, mom and I left to go to Lincoln.  When we got to the hospital and walked into dad’s room, he looked around and the first words out of his mouth were, “Where are the grand kids?”  Yup, he was getting back to normal!  He was alert and his mind was returning to normal. 

Dad asked up to stay and eat the noon meal with him.  So mom and I went down to the cafeteria and got a Thanksgiving dinner – turkey, mashed potatoes and salad.  It was nice to be with him and he was more talkative than he had been.  He has lost a lot of strength and had a nurse’s aide feeding him, but seemed to be in good spirits otherwise.

When they gave dad his bath, mom and I walked around the hospital a bit.  Mom said that this was not the place that she wanted to spend thanksgiving.  But when I reminded here that this was a far better place to be spending Thanksgiving than a funeral home which could have been one of the outcomes from the fall or the surgery.   She agreed.  I understand what she really meant by the statement, but given the events of Wednesday – This was a really nice place to be on Thanksgiving.  Dad was still with us and doing better.  God’s mercy was very apparent!

Home Sweet Home

I am now home.  It was an early start today.  We got up early as I was scheduled to pick up the rental car by 9 AM.  Giovanna did not want to get up and yet she was excited to be coming home.  Once we got to the Rehab facility, I dropped off mom and Giovanna to spend time with dad.  I took a cab to the airport to get the rental car.  It was a nicer car than I was told that I would be getting which was good as it is hard to get a walker into a compact car!  This one had lots of trunk space. 

The trip was uneventful and we made it home by 5:20 – just in time to hit the ground running.  The big family birthday celebration was tonight.  It did happen, but it took a lot to make it happen.  The boys decided what they wanted for dinner as I was driving back from Nebraska.  We had a great time and it was good to laugh. 

Now I need some time to process all that has happened in Nebraska.

Up and Walking

My dad has been at the Rehab facility since Friday, but therapy started in earnest on Monday.  It was a rocky start as my dad didn’t like the first therapist.  He now has a great one that works him pretty hard.  Yesterday was the first day that they tried walking.  They used a the heavy duty walker that supports more of the body weight.  While dad had trouble getting his feet to move at first – he was able to walk about 20 feet.   He wanted to try again and with help, (my dad has trouble starting his feet moving), so the therapist helped start his feet moving, he was able to go 80 feet. 

There is a tentative date set for him to come home – however that is subject to change and we will know more when we have a family meeting next week.  I wil attend that meeting via phone!

Birthday Boys

December 2nd is a big day at our house.  Caleb and Geoffrey share this day as the anniversary of the day they were born.  Caleb is turning 14 and Geoffrey is 10!  This is the first time that I have been away from them on their birthday.  The family celebration is scheduled for Thursday as Caleb has a basketball game tonight.  I am under orders from Geoffrey “Be sure you are home by Thursday – that is my birthday celebation you know.” 

I have had a flood of memories today as I think of them.  When I was pregnant with Geoffrey, Caleb said consistently that the baby would be born on his birthday.  I was certain that it would not happen again!  Courtney and Garrett also share a birthdate in June.  However it did happen a second time and Caleb was the first to say, “I told you so!”

When Geoffrey turned 6, he jumped in bed with me early in the morning, singing, “I’m 6, I’ six, I’m six, I’m six.”   When he finally stopped to take a breath, I said, “Well technically you are not six until 8 PM – as that is the time you were born.”  He stopped for a breif moment, had a puzzled look on his face and went back to singing, “I’m six!”.  Nothing would get in his way of being excited about turning six.  He is no longer a little boy, but a big boy on the verge of becoming a young  man!

Caleb has been growing in many ways.  He is now 5′ 10″ and has also passed me in the weight category as well.  I have often joked of these middle school years that  the kids check their brains and then get them back somewhere around 9th grade.  While this can be seen in some very dramatically, for Caleb it has been a process of slowly leaving his childish thinking and ways behind him and learning to think as a young man.  It has been fun to see this change.

Happy Birthday boys!  I love you both.  Mom.

The Road Home!

Gary and most of the kids left Nebraska on Sunday around 11:30 AM.  It takes about 7 hours to get back to the twin cities. 

The kids were pretty excited about the trip – each would have seat to themselves.  This does not happen often in a large family.  So while the older kids were calling out which seat they wanted, Geoffrey took matters into his own hands.  He “Staked” his claim on the first bench seat, complete with pillow and coat for a blanket. 

At 7 PM I got a call from Courtney.  There was something in her voice that made the mom antenna go up.

“Hi Mom,” she said.  “We are in Mason City.”  I am thinking that they should have been much closer to home.

“We hit some really slow traffic just west of Des Moines and have not been able to go much faster than 35 – 40 miles/hour.  As we were crossing a bridge in Mason City, we hit a slick spot and began to fish tale.”  OK my heart skips a beat.

“Dad sort of lost control of the car and we began to spin.  We hit the side of the bridge once with the front end of the van and then spun some more, hit the bridge again with the back end before we stopped.  Thankfully there weren’t any cars and no one is hurt.  Dakota got thrown around a bit, but we are all fine.”  Praise God for his protection.

“The van has some damage, but as long as we drive straight forward or go straight back, we are fine.  If we turn left, the bumper rubs against the wheel.”  This does not sound good. 

Gary and the kids arrive safely home around 10 or so.  The van is now in the shop and they have a rental car to help with the transportation.