The Phone

Who would have thought that one could get so frustrated over a phone – or should I say the lack of one.  Since my dad has arrived in the nursing home, he was been without a phone.  My mom has not wanted to invest in getting the line set up for his room.  She has gotten insurance on the cell phone so that if it was lost or stolen, it would be replaced – but she would not leave it there.  This made it difficult to talk with dad.  He did not say much when she was there.

Both my husband and I were somewhat frustrated and could not understand why mom was isolating dad.  We were trying to figure out how to get a phone into his room – when God did something amazing.

My aunt called me the other night and started the conversation with,  “Hello, your dad has a phone in his room and the number is. . . .”  I was in shock.  I had to have her repeat it a couple of times before the reality of what she said really hit.  We talked for several minutes and then I tried calling my dad.  The line was busy.  I tried again – the line was busy.  I finally got through on the third try.  He was a different man.  He already had several calls and was pretty upbeat.  When I told him that his sisters were paying the bill, he seemed to be moved.

What a difference it seems to be making.  Now I can call when it is convenient for the family – the kids will be able to talk with him.

Thank you Lord for this blessing.

The Road Home!

Gary and most of the kids left Nebraska on Sunday around 11:30 AM.  It takes about 7 hours to get back to the twin cities. 

The kids were pretty excited about the trip – each would have seat to themselves.  This does not happen often in a large family.  So while the older kids were calling out which seat they wanted, Geoffrey took matters into his own hands.  He “Staked” his claim on the first bench seat, complete with pillow and coat for a blanket. 

At 7 PM I got a call from Courtney.  There was something in her voice that made the mom antenna go up.

“Hi Mom,” she said.  “We are in Mason City.”  I am thinking that they should have been much closer to home.

“We hit some really slow traffic just west of Des Moines and have not been able to go much faster than 35 – 40 miles/hour.  As we were crossing a bridge in Mason City, we hit a slick spot and began to fish tale.”  OK my heart skips a beat.

“Dad sort of lost control of the car and we began to spin.  We hit the side of the bridge once with the front end of the van and then spun some more, hit the bridge again with the back end before we stopped.  Thankfully there weren’t any cars and no one is hurt.  Dakota got thrown around a bit, but we are all fine.”  Praise God for his protection.

“The van has some damage, but as long as we drive straight forward or go straight back, we are fine.  If we turn left, the bumper rubs against the wheel.”  This does not sound good. 

Gary and the kids arrive safely home around 10 or so.  The van is now in the shop and they have a rental car to help with the transportation.

Family Thanksgiving

The Kumpost family had their thanksgiving gathering on Saturday 29 November.  It was a very different family gathering in many ways.  The primary one being that Dad was not there. 

Dad was not there to oversee the cooking and carving of the turkey.  This task went to Gary and Garrett.  One thing that our family was grieving this year was not being in Pearlington Mississippi where we have been for the past two years.  We were going to miss being with our friends there and celebrating thanksgiving with them – southern style, complete with Fried turkey.  Yes you did read that correctly – fried turkey.  I didn’t think I would like it when I first heard how they cooked their turkeys – but boy it is good.  So moist and tender and it takes so much less time to cook.  My dad informed me that he had a fryer and that we could try it out.  Gary and Garrett did an excellent job with the turkey!  There was almost no lefterovers!

Dad was not there to say Grace before the meal.  Giovanna took care of that with her short prayer that left everyone in tears.  Her prayer, “Dear God, please come here.  Help Papa get better and to be strong.  Heal him and help him to be stronger.  Help us to enjoy this meal. Amen”  Out of the mouths of the little ones come some of the most profound things.  Even those that don’t like “religious things” were extremely touched by her prayer.

Dad was not there to tease the kids, tell the same jokes that we have heard for the last five years, to tease Courtney about her none existent boyfriend.  Dad was missed.  He was on everyone’s mind.  And yet this was Thanksgiving and there is much to be thankful for.  Evidences of Grace are everywhere.

Of all the weeks that dad could have fallen, this was one of the best.  We were planning on coming down anyway and using two cars as Gary was planning on going to Missouri earlier than the rest of the family.  We all left on the same day and could drive in one car! 

Mom has some really good neighbors.  They helped get dad up off the floor, and drove mom to the hospital.  They stayed with her until my brother came.  What a blessing to be able to go the extra mile with my mom.

Dad was able to get into a good hospital – one of the top in the nation when it comes to orthopedic stuff.  He also got one of the top surgeons who was able to fit his surgery in and do it relatively quickly.  He also has been able to get into one of the top rehab facilities. - All blessings from God. 

Dad enjoys his grandkids and looks forward to their visits.  They are the highlight of his day sometimes.  The kids don’t seem to mind going to visit him and actually Giovanna pushed for a couple visits!

My kids have been very responsible and helpful.  In fact on Thanksgiving day, the older boys did the mountains of dishes from the celebration with out any complaints (thank you short term missions department).  My aunt was so impressed that they willingly did what they were asked to do and stuck with the task until it was done that she paid them for doing the dishes!  An extra blessing that they didn’t expect!

Yes Dad was missed, but he is still with us and on his way to recovery.  Lord willing, he will be overseeing the dinner next year as we gather to give the Lord thanks.

Moving Day

Moving day came on Friday.  The hospital stay came to an end and now the move to the rehab facility was to happen.  Mom’s first choice was Madonna, which has a reputation for being one of the best in Lincoln.  It also has a waiting list.  However God was again merciful and dad got into to the facility.  Not only that but he has a large private room – wonder if they knew that dad would have lots of visitors over the weekend! 

The move came up rather quickly as mom got a call around 9:30 from dad with a request for some clothes and things to take with him to the rehab facility.  When she spoke with the nurse, she was told that he was scheduled to be moved around 1 PM – so we moved quickly to get things ready and to Lincoln before 1.  Randy joined us and we waited until 3 before the van came.  Dad was getting impatient, but there was nothing that could be done – it was Thanksgiving week and everyone was running with a skeleton crew!

Dad finally was readied for transport and mom was able to ride in the van with him.  She was worried about her van and how it would get to Madonna.  I looked at her and said, “Mom, that is why I am here.  Remember me, I am your daughter.”  She laughed and said she had forgotten I was there.  I wonder if I should take that personally – no I think not, she is under a lot of stress. 

Madonna is a really nice facility.  The staff there took a lot of time to welcome him, not rush him through he check- in procedure and make sure he understood everything.  He will receive PT and OT about 3 times per day as well as have some exercises to do on his own.  It is just beginning to sink in how much time it will take regain his strength and be ready to go home. 

When the physical therapist came on Saturday to do an initial evaluation, we arrived at the tail end of the session.  When dad stood up to walk, he almost tipped a really heavy duty walker over because his balance is off and his rear end is not tucked up under him like it should be.   The Physical therapist told dad that it would be 3-6 months for a complete recovery.  You could see the effect that the words had on dad – he sunk lower in the chair – he is just beginning to realize that it will take some work to get home.  They have progress points that they are looking for and he said, “I’ll be here awhile then.” 

The work is just beginning!  Monday will be a hard day with the PT and OT starting in earnest.

The Fall

On Sunday, 23 November, my parents were just finishing lunch.  My mom was pretty tired and does not remember much about the events.  My dad says that he was just getting up to put his dishes in the sink and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor.  Mom doesn’t remember him even getting up, just hearing a thud and looking around to see dad on the floor.  She is not a strong woman and called the neighbors to help her get him back on the chair.  They also noticed some blood on his face, but didn’t think much of it. 

When the neighbors arrived, they told mom that she should call 911 – it didn’t look all that good.  Mom really didn’t want to call, but the neighbor insisted.  Once the paramedics arrived, they were fairly sure that he had broken something.  They transported him to the hospital in Crete where it was determined that he broke his femur – at the neck of the femur, just below the ball.  They aslo looked at his head and noticed a large gash – it required 4 staples to close it up.  By this time my brother had gotten to the hospital and made some calls.  He was able to get him in with one of the best surgeons in Lincoln and he was transported to Sait Elizabeth’s in Lincoln.

Upon arrival at St. E’s, dad was admitted and they began to work on working him into Monday’s surgery schedule.  It looked like the surgery would be sometime around 11:30 AM on Monday.  It was closer to noon before they came and got dad for surgery.  The surgery took about 90 minutes during which they removed the ball and neck of the femur on his left leg and replaced it with a new one with a metal rod running down into the femur bone to hold it in place. 

The surgery went well and dad went through recovery better this time.  All of my dad’s siblings have trouble coming out of the anesthetic and this one was not an exception, but it went better than other times. 

Now the work of healing and recovery start!

Nebraska Update

We arrived in Nebraska on Tuesday shortly after lunch.  It was a whirlwind of activity to get things unloaded and get everyone back into the van and drive to Lincoln to see my dad.  He was tired, but seemed to be doing well.  He seemed glad to see the kids and focused mainly on Courtney.

Wednesday was not as good of a day.  He was not responsive for the most part and we could not get him to wake up.  My brother showed up later in the morning and when we started to discuss what was going on, he found out, seeminly by accident that the doctor had changed his blood pressure medication.  Once we finally figured out what he changed dad to, we all knew that it was the blood pressure meds that were causing the problems. 

It was a hard day for mom – it finally sunk in that dad could die and at any time.  Life is not a given.  For the first time, she showed real emotion.  She is the queen of manipulation at times so this was good to see her see this show of emotion.

Dad’s meds have now been changed and this morning when mom and I arrived, dad looked around and the first words out of his mouth, “Where are the grand children?”  Guess he is getting back to his old self.

Current prayer requests – Mom would like dad to get into Madonna for his rehab.  This facility generally has a waiting list so getting this one could be tricky.  Pray that God would get dad into the facitliy that is a good fit for him.  Mom is also pretty tired and worn out.  I have been hearing a lot of what has been going on.  Dad needs to change his attitude if he is going to make it for the long haul.  There is much that could be said, but I’ll leave that for a later post. 

Finding computers and internet has not been easy, but I am thankful to have at least located one at the hospital.  Have a great thanksgiving.

Surgery Day

Surgery was being scheduled last night for today sometime.  My brother is supposed to talk with the surgeon this morning.  I am waiting for my brother to call.

11AM – Talked with my brother.  The surgeon thought he might be able to fit dad in around 11 this morning, but the first surgery on the schedule took longer than he anticipated.  Now my brother thinks it will be this evening.  My dad will have a complete hip replacement – except for one part which I don’t recall the medical term that my brother used.  So back to waiting until this evening!

Noon – They just took dad into surgery – one should never be too quick to update the blog!  Surgery should be about an  hour with another hour in recovery!

2 PM – My dad is out of surgery and all went well.

5 PM – Dad is back in his room and resting – well sleeping is more like it.  The nurses will try to get some clear fluids down him yet tonight.  Mom is home and Randy is on his way home, but will come back and check on dad later.  The surgeon replaced dad’s hip in about an hour – he is the surgeon for the Nebraska football team!  From what my brother said, he is the best in the town! 

Dad will need to have some rehab which means going to an assisted care facility.  Mom needs to make some big changes in the house.  Randy and I talked through the changes that need to be made.  Change does not come easy for mom.  It will be good to be there for a few days at least and help mom make some decisions.

We leave at 5 AM tomorrow and will stop in Lincoln before heading to the house.  Dad always enjoys the kids so pray that they will be able to lift dad’s spirits.

The Mad Dash

Once “the call” came in with regards to my dad, the mad dash starts.  There is the shopping for the groceries for my boys with special diets, the laundry that needs to be done and the packing.  The brain is still trying to process the information, while the body is flying through the house trying to locate sleeping bags, suitcases, etc.

Then around 9 PM Randy calls again – surgery is in process of being scheduled for tomorrow.  Randy will be talking with the surgeon early in the morning.  Dad will need to be worked into the surgery schedule – most likely it will be late morning or afternoon. 

I should eat – but there is too much to get done.  Thankfully a really good friend from California will be bringing a meal tomorrow evening.  She, along with her husband always come back to Minnesota for Thanksgiving to see his family.  Since she is Indian, my kids were hoping for Indian food – but I think it will be Italian.  I am just thankful that I don’t have to cook!

The Plans of the Heart

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps – Proverbs 16:9.

The phone rings shortly after 5:30 PM – it is my brother.  the conversation is relatively short  and goes something like this;

“Hello, this is Randy.”

“Hey, How are you?”

“I am doing fine, but dad isn’t doing so good.”

“Umm, what happened?”  At this point, I already know that it is not good – I generally only get calls from my brother when something  has happened.  I am thinking that my dad has fallen.

“Dad fell and broke his hip.  He is on the way to Saint E’s right now.  I hooked him up with an orthopedic surgeon there.  He did a good job, the femor is broken clean through.”

“Do you want me to come down?”

“Yes, the stress of dad is beginning to show on Mom.”  This is my brother’s subtle way of saying, he can handle my dad and his medical stuff, but mom is out of control. 

I was planning to drive to Nebraska on Wednesday for Thanksgiving.  I was taking 4 of the 5 kids as Gary and Garrett were leaving for Missouri to see his mom on Tuesday.  We were to all be in Nebraska on Thanksgiving day. 

Plans change. 

We are now all leaving very early Tuesday Morning in hopes of making it to Lincoln by noon.  In a second call to my brother, I find out that surgery will most likely be on Monday or Tuesday.

Be Flexible.  Hold plans loosely – one never knows when they might need to change.

Please pray for things to go as God has ordained.  I know my dad and he does not want to be a burden to his family.  This could push him over the edge.  Pray for his heart to embrace the gospel.

Results from Thursday’s Appointment

Dad had an appointment at the local clinic.  He sees a PA, which from my brief encounter with her, seems to be fairly good.  She at least had enough sense to tell him that because of the normal “S” curve plus his “C” curve in his back, he is going to have pain.  Unless he does his exercises to help stabilize his back muscles, he will continue to curve and have pain.  Dad did not want to hear that and is still looking for the magic pill to cure all his pain.

However on Thursday, the results were: 

*Weight:  151      Down from 154

I am concerned about the weight loss.  It makes me wonder what he is eating and how often and. . . . .

*Still has pain – took X-rays – something appeared around the Kidney.  Will have more tests on the 17th to see if it could be kidney stones.   Mom decided to schedule the further testing for after the trip to Minnesota- so it sounds like they are planning to come for Courtney’s open house.  However things are still not set and I won’t hold my breath.  Things change quickly on the front in Nebraska.

*His speech is more slurred than it has been in the past.  This is not a good sign. 

*He is not doing his exercises in total - only picking and choosing the exercises that he wants to do.  Read here – those that are easiest for him.  I told him he needs to work on his whole body and that until he is consistent in doing those, he can’t get more.  As a result, I have looked into some other exercises, but will hold the line on giving him any more until he can do what he was told to do and to do them consistently.

Hopefully I will be able to see more if they make it here next week.